TH #1 Transition
Towards Home #1
Transition
May, 1998
You might like the gypsy life
Judge your progress by the phases of the moon
Get your compass and your sharpest knife
'Cause people love you when they know you're leaving … soon
-- John Gorka
For many, it seemed that I was never really leaving. I made the decision to leave Washington, DC in mid-March, thinking I'd go in mid-April. When the departure date was delayed to mid-May, I started hearing, "I thought you were gone!" Though they're difficult, transitions offer some interesting and often unexpected opportunities for growth. However, two months felt like a long time to be liminal.
In a sort of schizophrenic way, during the last two months I lived simultaneously in the past, the present, and the future. Especially with my 30th birthday thrown into the mix, I spent considerable time reflecting on/evaluating my history – what got me to this point – once again pulling up roots and transplanting myself, this time in Chiang Mai, Thailand. This stage seems to follow along a consistent (but not premeditated) path characterized by community, a need to do something good in the world, and planned, calculated risks – moving out of my comfort zone.
Where the past gave me reassurance, the present was painful. Having uprooted a few times before, I was more aware of how much I would miss friends and the familiarity of my surroundings. I challenged myself to value them – to "stop and appreciate" as my grandmother used to say. It was worthwhile but hard to feel the pain of goodbye in the moment.
Which brings me to the future. I'm enthusiastically starting with a clean slate. It's like New Year's, and the resolutions abound:* I'll write lots of letters. Read – novels and history / anthropology / political science. Exercise. Learn Thai. Drink more water. Learn Burmese. Then there are the myriad projects on Burma that I plan to undertake. And my job. Past efforts warn me that all is not possible. But I think it's worthwhile to define that person I'd like to be and over time prioritize. Starting in a new place makes it easier to consider these decisions deliberately rather than slipping into habits without really being aware of them. Lack of a routine is chaotic, so I'll have only a limited time before habits – old or new – take hold.
For the Burmese, living under military rule is a habit they are anxious to break. Some scholars assert that the current repressive regime is merely the modern version of the centuries-old-traditional monarchical rule. The all-powerful kings of lore meet the late 20th century. But it is unreasonable to believe that from a historical legacy follows a predetermined future. The nature of a pattern is that it repeats, but the challenge of history is to take responsibility for what lessons to learn and what to do about it.
The current suffering of the Burmese people may provide the impetus to interrupt that cycle. The painful present is wrought with forced relocation, forced labor, arbitrary arrest and
detention, extrajudicial killings, censorship. This month, Daw San San, a woman in her 60s who was elected to Parliament in 1990 but was never allowed to take her seat, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for giving a phone interview to BBC during which she said she was dissatisfied with the current government. Aung Tun wrote a history of the Burmese student movement, and important document 
that counters the myth of unquestioned-rule-and-docile-populace. He also received 15 years in prison.
So the Burmese look to the future, not to escape but with the very practical understanding that history is on their side, the regime will fall, and they will face the daunting task of reconstructing from scratch many aspects of their society. What kind of society to construct? The question is worth answering now, both as a critique of the present system and as an exercise in defining priorities and values.
I do like the Gypsy life, but it's like New York – great place to visit; wouldn't want to live there. For now, I'll try to take the time and energy to accept the challenge of history and also establish some roots.
*This letter, "Towards Home," may become a habit itself.
You might like the gypsy life
Judge your progress by the phases of the moon
Get your compass and your sharpest knife
'Cause people love you when they know you're leaving … soon
-- John Gorka
For many, it seemed that I was never really leaving. I made the decision to leave Washington, DC in mid-March, thinking I'd go in mid-April. When the departure date was delayed to mid-May, I started hearing, "I thought you were gone!" Though they're difficult, transitions offer some interesting and often unexpected opportunities for growth. However, two months felt like a long time to be liminal.
In a sort of schizophrenic way, during the last two months I lived simultaneously in the past, the present, and the future. Especially with my 30th birthday thrown into the mix, I spent considerable time reflecting on/evaluating my history – what got me to this point – once again pulling up roots and transplanting myself, this time in Chiang Mai, Thailand. This stage seems to follow along a consistent (but not premeditated) path characterized by community, a need to do something good in the world, and planned, calculated risks – moving out of my comfort zone.
Where the past gave me reassurance, the present was painful. Having uprooted a few times before, I was more aware of how much I would miss friends and the familiarity of my surroundings. I challenged myself to value them – to "stop and appreciate" as my grandmother used to say. It was worthwhile but hard to feel the pain of goodbye in the moment.
Which brings me to the future. I'm enthusiastically starting with a clean slate. It's like New Year's, and the resolutions abound:* I'll write lots of letters. Read – novels and history / anthropology / political science. Exercise. Learn Thai. Drink more water. Learn Burmese. Then there are the myriad projects on Burma that I plan to undertake. And my job. Past efforts warn me that all is not possible. But I think it's worthwhile to define that person I'd like to be and over time prioritize. Starting in a new place makes it easier to consider these decisions deliberately rather than slipping into habits without really being aware of them. Lack of a routine is chaotic, so I'll have only a limited time before habits – old or new – take hold.
For the Burmese, living under military rule is a habit they are anxious to break. Some scholars assert that the current repressive regime is merely the modern version of the centuries-old-traditional monarchical rule. The all-powerful kings of lore meet the late 20th century. But it is unreasonable to believe that from a historical legacy follows a predetermined future. The nature of a pattern is that it repeats, but the challenge of history is to take responsibility for what lessons to learn and what to do about it.
The current suffering of the Burmese people may provide the impetus to interrupt that cycle. The painful present is wrought with forced relocation, forced labor, arbitrary arrest and
detention, extrajudicial killings, censorship. This month, Daw San San, a woman in her 60s who was elected to Parliament in 1990 but was never allowed to take her seat, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for giving a phone interview to BBC during which she said she was dissatisfied with the current government. Aung Tun wrote a history of the Burmese student movement, and important document 
that counters the myth of unquestioned-rule-and-docile-populace. He also received 15 years in prison.So the Burmese look to the future, not to escape but with the very practical understanding that history is on their side, the regime will fall, and they will face the daunting task of reconstructing from scratch many aspects of their society. What kind of society to construct? The question is worth answering now, both as a critique of the present system and as an exercise in defining priorities and values.
I do like the Gypsy life, but it's like New York – great place to visit; wouldn't want to live there. For now, I'll try to take the time and energy to accept the challenge of history and also establish some roots.
*This letter, "Towards Home," may become a habit itself.
posted by PeaJayPee @ 10:42 PM
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